the finest mofo this side of the west side (vicariance) wrote,
the finest mofo this side of the west side

Dream weaver I believe you can get me through the night

Warning: this is a summary of the dream I had last night. Other people's dreams are usually boring as fuck unless you're featured in them. And even then... You've been warned.

Went to Texas for a bachelor party with my old friend Jay, he picked a fight with like 8 guys and I got the shit beat out of me, but I did some kind of zen trance thing and didn't get a scratch. Went to a strip club and got him lap dances, while I bought drugs from a seedy motherfucker in the back room. Then we went home and his fiancee was having a threesome with a guy a girl, and leaped up naked to greet us happily and unabashedly. We jumped right the fuck in.
Scene change: drove to a music festival with Norma, it was under construction and I worked on the construction as as demolitions engineer. I was laying pipes and having shit buried and having other shit blown up. When i got off work, I took Norma on a tour around the grounds and spoke perfect French to a woman who looked like Rihanna, we then trespassed through her house and I stole a hat.
Scene change: I am alone at an opera. I flirted with my waitress, who looked like Mandy and convinced her to sit and drink with me, turned out we were both spies trying to catch an assassin sitting a couple rows from us that looked like jake gyllenhall, but we found out he wasn't an assassin after all. We both had misinformation to get us out of the way that night for some other shit that was going on.
The opera morphed into a blockbuster movie theatre premier which I sat with Zach in, whispering and chatting with famous people. I met Mandy Moore, she was trying to revitalize fist bumps. Bruce willis was not impressed.
Scene reversion: back to the music festival, no longer under construction. Danced my ass off. At one point I walked past six people with joints all smoking. One girl was smoking two joints at once and dying of laughter. I walked up to this sexy black dude with a joint and I switched bodies with him. Then everyone got muddy as fuck like in woodstock. I asked Amy to help put mud on me. She did, but she did not know who I was, because I was in that other dude's body. Then time reversed and there was a super exciting stock car race on top of the dirt, and got muddy as the race went on.
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